Pain, ridiculous pain,
shadows never moved
depression never strayed
often coming twice in the same moment
faces all at once in my head
all summing up to deep sadness
no meaning or satisfaction
with no need for material
a failed dependence on the transitory
a mind deluded from the truth
from the acceptance of the eternal
held away from purity at the cost of sanity
a near miss every time or so it seems

change is hard
so far just sweet talk and minor issues
so far just fulfiling niceties
now the reality is clear, and
the alterations to be done are obvious
much sacrifice is involved, of lifestyle
of friends, culture, worldy ambitions
but the call is near, the call from inside the earth
but the confidence is low, all that was affirmed by tongue
were just of tongue that connected not with the heart
the walk is not being walked and cannot be walked
the role that is, was not. it was just talk
the truth that was, was only felt on the shallow
the depths are asleep and with the fruits of my life
what a waste of time this life is if in such a state

heart must be cleansed, with rough, and without reserve
mind must be strengthened with patience and calm
time must be watched by the hawk, frenzied by its focus
prayers guarded like entrances to unimaginable treasure
"friends" and colleagues kept far from the senses
but the eternal, the best of friends, in his glory,
kept occupying all limbs of the unseen and limbs of action
And this system in use must be veiled like the jewels,
as though this knowledge is medicine,
the knowledge of its knowledge is the cancer of desires.

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