I knocked on the door expecting my future
But I heard a voice that cursed my maker and I
I cried out for help, but everything was shut
Looked for an opening, but there was no way out
I gathered enough nerves to walk in a direction

A path that I chose, without much thought
On and on until my feet could bare no more
But I couldn't rest my body wouldn't stop
This was something I believed in, and I would stand up
Even at 21, following my dreams wasn't enough              

Tears from the depth of some divine despair
Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes,
Falling into cupped palms of prayer.

O Allah!
As my duaas ascend to Your Glory,
Let them testify my plea for Your Mercy.
Allahul Musta'an.

My soul, pale from weariness,
Of climbing and gazing on earth
Yet I remind myself,
To Allah we belong, And onto Him we return.

borrowed and modified the first 2 lines from
A.L. Tennyson's 'Idle Tears.'

once splendid memories stimulate a self
over and over,
gradually becoming unkind.
impatient with the months that separate us,
i ignore the beautiful days they too have to offer.
faithfully yours, i have become untrue.
neglecting the present,
i dream of the day I was once loyal to it.    

"I tried to capture a profound irony that i, and perhaps many others,
have experienced. i feel the issue at hand to be of great spiritual
significance."